What Do I Say If...?

A sentence beats a rule

Your child already knows a lot of rules. Don't talk to strangers. Be careful online. Tell me if anything happens. The trouble, as the book puts it, is that rules are easy to remember at the kitchen table and hard to use in the moment.

When a friend is daring them, or a grown-up is rushing them, or a message makes their stomach drop, a child does not need one more rule. They need a short sentence they have said out loud before, so it comes out on its own. That is what Iris Athens wrote: a phrasebook, like the ones you take on a trip, but for the tricky moments of being 8 to 12.

The same five steps, a hundred times

Every one of the 100 situations follows one pattern. NOTICE gives the clue that something is off. SAY THIS gives the first line, short on purpose. IF THEY PUSH gives the next line when the other person doesn't stop. DO THIS is the action that keeps the child safe, and TELL IT says who to tell and when.

Then comes the part we like most. A PRACTICE line for the grown-up to read in character, a little pushy, a little friendly, so the child can answer it out loud. "Come on, just this once. Nobody will know." The child answers in their strong voice. Then you swap roles.

The situations run from small to serious. A classmate wants to copy homework. Someone says you can't sit here. A grown-up you don't know says your dad sent them. A caller asks if you're home alone. Someone in a game wants to move the chat to a private app.

Built on public guidance, not on fear

The safety advice follows public guidance from groups like the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, the American Academy of Pediatrics and StopBullying.gov, with the sources listed at the back. Those groups did not write or review the book, and it says so.

It skips two things on purpose. It does not teach stranger danger, because kids don't know who counts as a stranger, and a lost child needs to be able to ask one for help. And it uses no statistics or scary stories. The book's view is simple: fear makes kids freeze, practice makes them move.

Practice, then a plan for the fridge

The Practice Game turns the book into ten minutes a week, with an 8-week schedule that starts with the strong voice and ends with emergencies. Practice is always announced. The book is firm that you should never test your child with a staged stranger or a fake message.

At the back, Our Family Safety Plan has space for the numbers your child should know by heart, a safe grown-up team, who can pick them up from school, a "come get me" message and a fire escape plan. The Cut-Out Cards hold the key lines for a backpack. The last card is for the grown-up: "You will never be in trouble for telling me."

We built the problem pages for this book around the same rule the book follows: help first. If a child may be in danger right now, call 911, or the Childhelp hotline at 1-800-422-4453.