Home alone rules for kids the first time: what to say at the door, the phone and the smoke alarm

Reading the home alone table

Each row is one moment from the Home Alone chapter. The middle column is the line your child says, short on purpose. The right column is what they do next.

Two rules sit under all of it. First, the door stays shut, no matter who it is. Second, in a real emergency, your child calls 911 first and you second. Every other row comes back to one of those.

Notice how often the answer is "nothing." Your child does not owe anyone at the door a reply. A real delivery person will come back another time.

The age question has no single answer

The American Academy of Pediatrics says there is no single right age to stay home alone. Experts typically agree 11 or 12 is fine for a few hours. Some mature 8 or 9 year olds can manage half an hour or so. State laws set minimum ages anywhere from 8 to 14.

The book puts it in kid words: your grown-up decides when you're ready, not your age and not your friends. Before the first time, the AAP suggests you agree on the house rules, post your numbers on the fridge, and do a practice run while you are close by.

The knock at 4:15

Picture it. You are at the store, twenty minutes away. Your son is at the kitchen table with a snack. Someone knocks.

A voice says:

Hello? I'm a friend of your mom's. Can you open up for a second?

He is polite. You raised him to be. That is exactly why he needs the rule decided before the knock. When the rule is "the door stays shut for everyone," there is nothing to weigh. He stays away from the door and texts you. If the knocking keeps going, he calls. If someone tries to get in, he calls 911.

The phone works the same way. A caller asks, "So you're by yourself?" The book's example line keeps it calm:

They can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?

Fire and hurts: the two emergencies to rehearse

Fire moves fast. The book tells kids they may have only a couple of minutes, so they do not stop to grab things. The National Fire Protection Association recommends two ways out of every room, a meeting spot outside, and practicing the plan twice a year. Push the test button on the smoke alarm and walk the plan together.

For hurts, the practice question is a good one to ask at dinner: which is a 911 hurt, a scraped knee or a fall where you can't move your leg? If your child is not sure, they call you. If they cannot reach you and they are scared, they call 911.

For a small burn, cool running water. Not ice, not butter, not cream. The book notes that experts differ on how long, from 3 to 5 minutes up to 20, so ask your child's doctor and pick one for your house.

Chapters for the first afternoon alone

Iris Athens wrote What Do I Say If...? for exactly this problem.

Home Alone has ten situations, each with the line to say, what to do if the person pushes, and a practice line for you to read, including the knock and the phone call above.

Emergencies covers what to say to 911, step by step, plus fire, gas, choking and calling 911 by mistake.

Our Family Safety Plan has a page for your home alone rules, your phone line, a check-in plan and your fire escape routes. It goes on the fridge.

If your child also plays online while you are out, our page on a stranger in a game asking for personal info covers that side.